A Tool for Balance In a Time of Uncertainty

My wife Laura and I have been blessed to have our youngest son, Jacob home on a college break this week. A second-semester senior at Boston University, our son is an aspiring journalist and is keenly aware of and attentive to world events. In the moments after he received word from BU that all classes are being moved online, we discussed his options for the days ahead (staying home with us or returning to the apartments he shares with three fellow students.) At one point he looked me straight in the eye and asked, “Have you ever experienced anything like this in your life?” My mind quickly rifled through the memories of other times of challenge - the assassinations of JFK and other leaders in the 1960’s; the NY blackout of ’77; the Blizzard of ’78; 9-11 and other moments. “Like this?” I replied. “No.”

The next morning, I was off to facilitate what I recognized would likely be my last -in-person Mussar Va’ad at one of the Boston-area synagogues where I am privileged to work with Mussar groups. Driving to the synagogue I was well-aware that our time together would likely expand beyond the middah of Emet/Truth on which we were planning to focus.  If anything, my anticipation fell short of the reality of the intense session we proceeded to share together. Yes, we focused on emet (not an irrelevant theme in these times.) Even more, we spent much of our time together reflecting on the various middot (soul-traits) we have explored, studied and practiced in our years together. I posited to the group that it is our study and practice of Mussar which provides us with tools – not just for everyday life, but precisely for a time such as this.

As our conversation unfolded, I led the group through an exploration of the middot and how they might inform our reality, which is largely filled with uncertainty. In short, here are just a few of the ideas we shared:

- Gevurah/Strength and Ometz Lev/Courage – So many around us are fearful and panicking. Indeed, we may fall into that category. Unlike others around the globe, many of us have access to strong health care resources, food and other basic needs. While we cannot banish uncertainty and even fear from our hearts, we can work on and with our middot - gevurah and ometz lev -- to draw upon our strengths, and those of the people with whom we are sharing this journey – our loved ones, friends, neighbors, and communities. And let us not forget our hevruta partners and Va’ad groups who understand and share this Mussar language and journey with us.

- Da’agah/Worry – Few in our midst are not burdened by some measure of worry. While we are reminded again and again that for many who catch this virus, it will likely have minor ramifications, few if any of us have experienced this type of contagion. And even if we summon the gevurah and ometz lev to remain optimistic, there is still a more than a minuscule degree of uncertainty.

- Savlanut - Here I think not only of the quality of patience we must practice but of the Alter of Kelm’s teaching that a core meaning of Savlanut is “bearing the burden.” How do I bear the burden of this time of caution and anxiety – for and with my loved ones; with those amongst friends and neighbors who may be facing this moment alone; with and for those in my congregation, Mussar group, or whatever community I may be a part of?

- Kavod/Honor - How do I honor those around me by practicing good hygiene and safe contact? How do we show kavod to those who are on the front lines – of ministering to those who catch the virus? To those who are sagely guiding our cities, towns, states, and countries with their wisdom and knowledge so we can arrest the spread and care for those afflicted?

-Anavah/Humility – we don’t even know what we don’t know. The virus spreading across our world is “novel” and therefore, even our wisest authorities don’t know with certainty how to combat it. Nevertheless, we should heed their advice and develop good habits in accordance with that advice so we can hopefully slow and diminish the spread. And, as always, we must conduct ourselves with the appropriate balance of anavah.

The conversation within my Mussar group, and the thoughts I have, extend beyond this brief list of middot. In the days and weeks to come I will expand my thoughts on these, and other middot. Mussar is about finding balance in our lives; and working to the best version of the person we are capable of being. I believe that Mussar can be an important tool to meet the uncertainty and challenges of a chapter in our lives which has barely just begun.

In the weeks ahead, The Mussar Institute, with which I am privileged to work as Director of Chaverim and Community Outreach, will be offering a variety of contexts in which we can share the journey and struggles and derive strength from these precious teachings. If you are interested, please check our website (or stay tuned as I share information about these opportunities) to feel the presence and support of the community as we share the journey through these days.